She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
