walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Four minutes until I can fart!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
