nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
