she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
