so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
