how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
