My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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