What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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