did you get engaged???
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
