Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Just pee around me
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
