I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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