My nipple is on Facebook.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
