the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
