I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I can text with my tongue
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
