I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
