"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
