My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
They have beer where we have blood.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
His nipple licking is glorious
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