I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Randomize