she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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