btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Randomize
