I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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