be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
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So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
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Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I have post one night stand depression
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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