sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
