You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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