i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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