This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
