he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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