I cannot find my penis.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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