Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
