I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
