Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
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