I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
