Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
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