Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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