I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
