i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
