I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
