I smell stomach acid.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
ugly people sure do ruin things
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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