Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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