girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Randomize