Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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