i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
