Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
