If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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