you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
