I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
