my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
