so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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