if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've created a new STD.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize