Texts From Last Night

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  (713): View more from Texas

  yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.

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  (713): yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome. http://tfl.nu/dlc1
  Replies (23) Good night (4892) Bad night (623)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?

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  (978): one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket? http://tfl.nu/emia
  Replies (10) Good night (3991) Bad night (546)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up

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  (443): you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up http://tfl.nu/89z7
  Replies (27) Good night (2873) Bad night (5018)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.

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  (302): He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter. http://tfl.nu/7onh
  Replies (22) Good night (5760) Bad night (1003)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.

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  (612): Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls. http://tfl.nu/jpdx
  Replies (15) Good night (3403) Bad night (1448)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.

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  (215): so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15. http://tfl.nu/ngxx
  Replies (16) Good night (799) Bad night (2318)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.

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  (214): He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash. http://tfl.nu/jj6x
  Replies (7) Good night (2048) Bad night (922)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.

  (1+44): View more from

  When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.

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  (+44): You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man. (1+44): When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree. http://tfl.nu/esvb
  Replies (9) Good night (1767) Bad night (1162)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?

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  (423): This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean? http://tfl.nu/py5a
  Replies (5) Good night (571) Bad night (950)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.

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  (541): A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell. http://tfl.nu/awme
  Replies (2) Good night (1311) Bad night (589)
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  (916): View more from California

  Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b

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  (916): Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b http://tfl.nu/9ccv
  Replies (5) Good night (1046) Bad night (546)
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  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.

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  (+64): He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic. http://tfl.nu/imyn
  Replies (9) Good night (1154) Bad night (435)
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  (562): View more from California

  Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.

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  (562): Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning. http://tfl.nu/rdpv
  Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (393)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.

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  (307): I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing. http://tfl.nu/4xdm
  Replies (1) Good night (364) Bad night (142)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am

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  (312): My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am http://tfl.nu/0nuu
  Replies (0) Good night (356) Bad night (111)

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