Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch