looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
