Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!

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(216): View more from Ohio

I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!

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(949): View more from California

he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(631): View more from New York

I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?

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(858): View more from California

WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.

(760): View more from California

You're High aren't you?

(858): View more from California

Sooooo high

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(616): View more from Michigan

Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight

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(802): View more from Vermont

the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.

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