Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
