i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
