it's too hot outside to masturbate.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
