If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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