I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
