I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
