Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
