she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Randomize
