I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
