There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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