Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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