One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
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You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
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Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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