You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Randomize
