Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
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