Im at strip club and am horny
What did we do last night that was yellow?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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