the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
