I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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