she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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