Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Randomize
